On Air Coaching – How To Feel More Connected To Husband With Wendy (ep-88)

Welcome to the show and happy new year! 2019 here we go!

I am excited to bring to you a brand new segment to the show called On-Air-Coaching, which are basically pre-recorded coaching calls I’ve recently had with women. Every woman you’ll meet is struggling with different things and that is intentional, I want you to see that although the challenges are different the solution or the “way out” is the same – practicing embodiment, radical self-care and choosing yourself first, always.

We cannot raise good kids without raising ourselves.

We cannot pretend like we’re happy. If you are raising a sensitive child then you know exactly why. Kids pick up on our energy, so pretending doesn’t work, especially with the younger ones.

Also, it is not fair, to your kids, partner but most importantly to you!

You deserve to live a full, happy and joyous life. You might have inherited or learned this from your mother lineage but I want you to know that staying in this zone is a choice. You can absolutely shift how your story ends, it doesn’t have to end as it did (or will) for the women you are surrounded by.

You know what I mean right? Look around you, how many women do you know who are expecting to be sick or terminally ill once they hit 50? It’s almost like, once they’ve done what was expected of them they are finally allowed to rest and be taken care of. Yes, you absolutely should have a community around you of people who can lift you up and root for you whenever you need, but please, for the love of God, don’t allow this to be co-dependence that originates from neediness or helplessness. You are powerful beyond belief and I want you to learn how to take care of yourself. Unless you learn how to truly take care of yourself and embody your full potential as a woman, wife, and mother you, too, would be headed in that same direction of burnout, resentment, bitterness, dryness, feeling unmotivated, uninspired and as though life has been sucked out of you.

Feeling joy is your birthright.

Speaking on Joy, in today’s call, you will meet Wendy a young wife and mom of three children. Wendy called me because she’s struggling to feel connected to her husband, at least that’s what she thinks she’s struggling with. You’ll see, as the call evolves, that she will connect to the real reason she doesn’t feel connected to him, among other things she discovers about herself.

As you listen, consider these questions:

    • Do you also feel like it’s a challenge to bring more peace and alignment into your life?
    • Do you feel emotionally overwhelmed with everything you have to juggle (i.e. kids, full-time work, starting a business, running a household, nurturing core relationships with your parents or in-laws)?
    • Do you also feel like you want your joy back? Like you want your peace of mind back?
    • Do you also feel like you want to be at a better space with your husband? Do you want to have fun, passion, and romance together with him again?
    • Do you feel like parenting overtakes everything? Do you also feel like a nanny, cook and a housekeeper?

On today’s call, you’ll hear how Wendy is going to give herself permission to design the life she craves without feeling overpowered by others. I hope you will find yourself in Wendy and will do the same for yourself. Be sure to stick to the end as I will be sharing some takeaways after the call as well as how you can work with me to help shift your energy away from overwhelm, burnout and negativity and use the wisdom of your body to design the life you love to live.

Can you relate to Wendy?

  • Do you feel so overwhelmed that you stop trying? Like there’s too much to do and then you hide and drown yourself in something that is numbing the feeling of discomfort (Netflix, food, avoid being around people, feel like you betray yourself, out of integrity with yourself)?
  • Do you feel like you can’t handle chaos very well (leaving the house in the morning, you start yelling, you start doing things you don’t want to do (like yelling), and at that point mindfulness and meditations fly out the window?
  • Do you also find it difficult to ask for help?

Wendy’s key insights and AHA’s: 

  • On the front end, she feels disconnected from her husband and kids, but the truth is that she is disconnected from herself until she learns how to connect to herself it is very hard to pretend or fake this feeling. We spoke about a few things she can try to start this process out.
  • Feeling disconnected from herself leads to indecision, a lifetime of relying on other people to tell her who she is and what she should be doing.
  • As someone growing in an Asian family, expectations are very clear, but she is done being the “good daughter” and at 38 years old to finally give herself permission to do what she wants to do.
  • Even though she was very close to her mom when she was younger it’s hard for her to own her power and confront her mom now that she’s older as she’s trying to find her voice in the world because her mom still treats her like a child. Wendy did agree that blaming her mom is not going to lead her anywhere and that she has to learn how to advocate for herself, own her power and trust herself again.

Here are some practical and tangible suggestions Wendy can try so that she can start embodying self-trust and feel connected to herself again: 

  • She should use her breath to connect with herself by standing in a mountain pose where she feels open, grounded and the most like herself daily and bring that feeling into her mothering.
  • She should start journalling to connect with her “inner-wise mother”.
  • Write a letter to her mom she will never send where she thanks her for doing her best in raising her but now it is her time to become a woman and not a child. This will help her to individuate from her mom and step into her own power as a woman. No more ” the good daughter”, it is time to step into “I am a woman in my own right and I deserve to design my own life.

Assignments & Takeaways for you:

  • Start practicing yoga regularly, twice a week would be ideal! Yoga is the practice of embodiment which will help you to take what you’ve learned on your mat into your life as a woman, wife and a mother. I love Hatha yoga because this style of yoga offers everything you need – poses, breathing exercises preparing the body for a deeper spiritual practice such as meditation. Over time this will help you cultivate a sense of peace of mind and inner joy. Yoga is a practice, meaning in order to see results you need to actually practice it regularly.
  • Give yourself permission to choose and permission to take a leap. We all want to raise good kids who take risks and become to be good people in the world. The best way to do so is by modeling. Don’t be afraid to fail or make mistakes, you’re human. Give yourself permission to play and explore. Enough with the “good daughter” syndrome.
  • Start a journal and use it like a sacred tool to access your inner wise mother. This is not about “dear diary today I had lunch with Lindsey” kind of journaling. This is all about giving yourself permission to write your thoughts and use this as a guiding tool.
  • Join The January round of The Health Begins With Mom Mastery Experience which is a 6 months incubator to help you break free from anything that is holding you back from shining your true light. What you’ve heard today is an example of how I work with women and how each coaching session sounds and feels like. In this program, I am going to hold your hand and together we are going to do the work you are afraid to do on your own. I will mother you, love on you, nurture you, teach you how to eat in alignment with your feminine energy, balance your hormones, expand your emotional mastery container, learn how to negotiate with your inner critic, heal your mother wound and become the women, wife and mother deep down inside you know you are destined to be. This work is sacred and it is dedicated to your healing. I want you to take a stand for yourself courageously so that you can show up your very best as a woman, wife, and mother. If this is something you would like to explore, head of over to www.healthbeginswithmom.com/apply and we’ll get on the phone to see if we’re a good fit.

I believe in you.

I know you can do this.

This is your chance to kick off 2019 in the best possible way! You got this!

Show Notes

To apply to the Health Begins With Mom Mastery 6-Months Program

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