What Frozen 2 Taught Me As A Woman

I hope I can do a good job of telling my lessons without spoiling the experience of the movie for you. Just in case, I am going to warn you, this might spoil the movie for you, so if you haven’t yet seen it, watch it first and then listen to this episode.

Six years ago, when the first Frozen came out, my daughters were 4 and 2 and “Let it go” was playing on a loop in my car, phone, house, parents’ house, in-laws house and everywhere we went starting from birthdays and ending at Wal-Mart. It was such a hit, I admit I loved it just as much as they did.

When I heard that they’ve made a sequel I honestly was very skeptical. It is so rare that the sequel is better than or as good as the first, but this one was hands down amazing! 5 stars!

The production, the storyline, the fact that this movie wasn’t about love or romance (although that was also present, it just wasn’t the focus of the movie).

In “Frozen,” Elsa feared her powers were too much for the world. In “Frozen 2,” she must hope they are enough.

My daughters are all obsessed with the songs and to be quite honest, so does their mom. I find myself singing these songs in the shower to myself, or when I cook or even put them on in the car even when kids are not there!! Yup, and I know I’m not alone!

I feel like ‘into the unknown’ should become an anthem for people who are on a journey towards something new and exciting but scary and necessary.

I’ve spoken with a few mamas and so many of them shared with me that they resonated with this song even more than their kids.

So many mamas feel like their lives have been put on hold since they’ve become parents. The daily grind is definitely taking its toll on us and so going into the unknown is both scary and desirable, like Elsa says ‘are you someone out there who’s a little bit like me? Who knows deep down I’m not where I’m meant to be?’

Where am I meant to be?

Is it here? Or is it there? Doing stuff in the world? Creating and expressing myself in the world? Being of service? Living my purpose, being used by God? Who knows…

Here are the major lessons I left with after watching frozen 2. If you resonate with these do let me know, find me over at Instagram @doritpalvanovcoaching.

Here we go.

  1. Stepping into the unknown and listening to your calling – being true to yourself and breaking the barriers of your own mind – how uncomfortable this is! We all know how this feels – you hear the voice calling you to make that call, ask that question, leave that relationship, connect with someone you’ve neglected, listen to your body, do that test, book that appointment, send that message, etc. I once heard a great therapist say that our mind is hard-wired to absolutely resist anything that is new and unknown. It’s great for survival and staying safe but it’s awful in the sense that it keeps up feeling stuck for YEARS! So if you feel like there’s something you’ve been desiring for a long time, if you’ve been hearing that calling or that ‘voice’, know that this is not wishful thinking, you have the power to change your own reality and create a brand new trajectory for yourself.
  2. Emotional rainbow – I absolutely LOVED that in this movie the producers were not afraid to show difficult emotions such as grief, sadness, depression, and despair as well as positive ones. Our children so desperately need to see that it is ok to feel and to break down and that they have the power to bring themselves back up by choosing to do “The Next Right Thing”. This message is important not only for children! So often we, adults, feel like we’re breaking apart because life is just not what we want it to be. So often we feel like we’ve lost control over our emotions, our mental health, our body, our relationships, work, career, etc. I loved that we don’t need to have the whole picture in mind, which is overwhelming and might seem like too much or too big to someone who’s recovering or healing. Instead, all we need to do is the next right thing. That’s it. And then another step and another. Before you know it, you’ve accomplished your goal. You’ve achieved that very thing a month ago, six months ago, a year ago, you didn’t believe you were capable of doing. This is such a powerful concept and I want to drill it into your mind! You are listening to this show, most likely because you desire to feel more confident, energized and sexier as a woman. This too begins with ‘the next right step’, here’s where this is beautiful – no one can tell you what that step is, only you know. Trust yourself! Is it booking an appointment with your doctor? Is it reserving a book from the library? Is it ordering water instead of alcohol at the bar? Is it changing how to talk to yourself? Is it waking up 10 minutes earlier? Is it scheduling a discovery call with me? You’re very welcome to by the way, by heading over to www.doritpalvanov.com/contact/discovery. Whatever it is, remember that you don’t need to know everything, only the next best step.
  3. Emotional resiliency – ‘my love is not fragile’ – This was a line from the movie when Kristoff told Anna that his love for her is not fragile, meaning his love withstands struggle, time and separation. This is such an important lesson for our children who are growing with devices, technology, Netflix, visuals and other stuff that make it difficult to wait. We are the instant gratification generation and even things like ‘love’ have become commodities that if are not provided fast enough tend to be replaced by something faster, better, and less emotional. Drama is the killer of our relationship and mental health, and as you know there’s so much of it out there. I wanted to mention this on this podcast since you ladies know that the themes of womanhood and femininity are recurrent around here. As women, we must understand that we are wired for connection which means we have a very strong capacity to feel, intuit and connect with others, the flip side of this is our tendency to slip too far into unnecessary drama, ‘he said she said’, ‘can you believe this?’ and other things we do or say that wire us to spend way too much energy in the wrong places.
  4. Girl power and sisterhood – OMG, finally not a movie that its underlying theme is romance and a woman needing a man to save her. There is, of course, a love story in the movie, but it’s subtle and not the main focus of it, which I loved! This is a much deeper issue. This is about our connection with each other as women, our ability to hold and contain each other without competition or hostility. As women, we desperately need each other and this connection provides so much more than any romantic can provide for you. This is not about hormones or procreation. Rather, this is about carrying on our stories, sharing our pain and successes, it’s about supporting one another, rooting for each other. There is a very disruptive behaviour out there, and for you ladies working at corporate, this might be very familiar. It’s known as the “Queen Bee’ phenomenon. Some senior-level women distance themselves from junior women, perhaps to be more accepted by their male peers. Trying to separate oneself from a marginalized group is, sadly, a strategy that’s frequently employed. It’s easy to believe that there’s limited space for people who look like you at the top when you can see it with your own eyes. This is a scarcity mentality, and as a study published in The Leadership Quarterly concludes, this is a response to inequality at the top, not the cause. I repeat this is a response to the inequality, NOT the cause. In this movie, I loved how the two sisters worked together in a non-competitive manner and in the end they won because of their unity not in spite of it. Sit with this for a few minutes and think where in your life do you put other women down or see them as a threat and think how can you work with that person instead of competing with her. It’s possible, you can do it. If you struggle with this one, reach out to me, I’m happy to help you brainstorm some ideas. Email me or DM me on IG.
  5. Mother-daughter relationship – this one did not surprise me at all!! I almost knew this would come up at one point during the movie. Since this movie is very clearly advocating womanhood, femininity, female-centric approach, it is impossible to do without bringing up the very unique relationship we have with our mothers. You’ve heard me talk about this several times on this show, as something I refer to as the ‘mother wound’ that affects us all. Another related lesson from the movie is seeing the humanity of your ancestors and understanding their mistakes. Our ancestors, whether they are our mothers or fathers are human beings and they have or had feelings too. Fear is a big deal that many people don’t know how to handle. I loved how this movie is showcasing the younger generation as braver and more resilient emotionally than the older generation. When it comes to our mothers, check out episode 53 where I dive much deeper into this topic, but the bottom line is – our mothers teach us how to be a woman in the world. We look up to her as the northern star and very often align our actions with how we think she would or in a way that will get her to approve. This is a very intricate psychological phenomenon that is very helpful if you’ve had a mom you are proud of and did some amazing things in the world, however, if it’s the other way around, if deep down you know your mom could’ve/should’ve acted in other ways (no judgment here), this can be a huge stumbling block. I myself, still fight with this every day! I am recovering from victim-mentality which I’ve inherited from my mom. She knows this and I do have her permission to share this, but this is tricky because she has also inherited this from her mom and so on and so forth. This is where ‘mother wound’ healing is crucial in order to change your trajectory. I do this work in my practice and am happy to talk to you about it if you need help in moving past this once and for all. Email me or DM me on IG.
  6. Taking care of the planet – I loved how they’ve incorporated the first nations in the story who’ve always lived off of the land and lived in alignment with mother nature. The forest in the movie is a living and breathing organism that the people listen to as a guiding star. I don’t want to give away too much of the movie, but the four elements piece was beautiful!

There you have it! Six lessons I’ve learned from Frozen 2. I left the movie sobbing and not wanting it to end which in my opinion is a must for a good movie. When the movie ended I asked my daughters how was it, and my older two said unanimously ‘better than the first!’. If children think so, I think you’ll agree too! So, if you haven’t seen it yet, what are you waiting for? Go see it now!

Now I’d love to hear from you, after seeing the movie, which lessons stuck with you? I’d love to know! Send me an email (dorit.palvanov@gmail.com) or DM me on Instagram @doritpalvanovcoaching

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